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Do I Have To Sacrifce A Virgin To Install Windows Software?

Just out of curiosity, I attempted to install the Windows “Photo Story 3” on my Dell laptop. I was unsuccessful at convincing Microsoft Windows that I was using Microsoft Windows despite extracting my secret password from the sticker on the bottom of my laptop.

This is the stupidest, cruelest, and obviously not user tested outside of the Microsoft lab isntaller I have ever seen.

I throw my hands up in frustration and return to my Powerbook, which I do not have to convince its operating system that it is an actual operating system.

Since expressing my interest in screencasting I decided it was time to download the Windows Media Encoder. That went fine. But while there, I saw on the left a link for Microsoft Photo Story 3 billed as something:

Create slideshows using your digital photos. With a single click, you can touch-up, crop, or rotate pictures. It’s that easy! Bring photos to life
Add stunning special effects, soundtracks, and your own voice narration to your photo stories. Then, personalize them with titles and captions.

Curious, I aimed at downloading.

First of all, the in FireFox, the site refused to “install the Windows validation component”, some ActiveX thing-a-ma-bob. So shifted to IE, and was able to get past that hurdle.

The next screen asked me to validat my computer with my 25 character product key. Here I am pictured squinting at the key stuck to the bottom of my laptop. I wrote it down carefully, returned the laptop to a usable position, and carefully entered the key.

Three times. Windows refused to accept my product key, and the alternate method involved scraping up my purchase order, sending a pint of blood, and getting a note from my third grade math teacher.

This must rank as the stupidest, inane way for normal humans to use a Microsoft product and that obviously will not happen, since Microsoft Windows does not believe it is running a valid copy of Microsoft Windows.

That is why my Dell is a doorstop and used under extreme duress.

Profile Picture for Alan Levine aka CogDog
An early 90s builder of the web and blogging Alan Levine barks at CogDogBlog.com on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person.