Comments on: “I Can’t” is a Self Fulfilling Prophecy

By: Kim Clevinger

Kim Clevinger — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:39:11 +0000

There are so many times that I say “I can’t”. Even when I began classes this fall, I found myself saying “I can’t take two classes with everything else I have to do.” It really made me consider dropping one of the classes, and then my husband reminded me that I could. He said “you have always done it before and you can do it again.” We will never know if we can do anything unless we give it our best and do our best. That is all that is required.

By: NGTD and ReaderBox Zero » CogDogBlog

NGTD and ReaderBox Zero » CogDogBlog — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:23:34 +0000

[...] almost started to say something like “I Can’t” but I can’t do that. But I honestly know that organizational stuff (like keeping things neatly in file and making to do [...]

By: Coop

Coop — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:35:10 +0000

Oh, you’re going about the folded sheets all wrong. Who says whether they are folded right or not? I say if the goal is to fold so that you can store them some where, then your fold is a success if indeed you were able to store them somewhere. Who’s complaining? No one. Success! It’s not like there is a sheet folding Olympics or something. You can do it!

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:40:45 +0000

I am sooo with you on fitted sheets!

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:38:51 +0000

I can’t come up with decent metaphors But seriously, I wasn’t allowed to say “can’t,” growing up, so I probably say it more than I should now. Mr. Injenuity does all the cooking, or we get takeout. I would love to talk more about the disconnect if you start a post on that. I don’t think I’ve disconnected. I just deleted one account.

By: phaedrus » Blog Archive » Dogs That Don’t Hunt

phaedrus » Blog Archive » Dogs That Don’t Hunt — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:07:55 +0000

[...] of the “I’m too old” comments come thru and this pose from CogDogBlog showed up: “I Can’t” is a Self Fulfilling Prophecy » CogDogBlog But I am tuned in now when I hear people recite thing things they “Can’t” do. Don’t tell me [...]

By: Heather Ross

Heather Ross — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:35:21 +0000

Alan,

I was actually recently talking about something similar with a friend and I would argue that far more damaging than letting students say “I can’t” and then not pushing them to try is when teachers or parents say “You can’t” (or variations on that such as “you’re just not good at this”).

This is not only letting our students wallow in self-deprecation, but but actually causes it to begin, or at least reinforces their own misconceptions about their abilities.

Too often parents and teachers are guilty of this one.

By: Alan Levine aka CogDog

Alan Levine aka CogDog — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:52:06 +0000

@Eloise: Touche on your points, I appreciate them all. Ironically I has another post in mind about the pitfalls of generalizing ones singular experiences to everyone else’s. I ought to have said, in my opinion, there are a certain range of areas where people say I Can’t is a barrier to trying. I do not expect people to overcome the impossible (like suggesting blind people try harder to see or pigs flying…) and nor do I think self-bootstrapping w/o help is the way around it. When I ran a marathon, I joined a team, got coaching, and lots of support; it wa snot just tying on shoes and doing it out of sheer will.

Thinking of your example with the students and the paper, I read that as a situation where they did go out and try, did make the appropriate effort, and yes, it is justified to say, “I can’t do this assignment *because* of __________-”

But thanks for calling me on this, twas more thnking out loud than suggestion any universal truths. And as far as the sheets, that was supposed to be a joke, yes I need help!

By: Pat

Pat — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:31:26 +0000

I definitely agree. That is why all of my students had to write “I am a Born Winner” on every paper they turned in for a grade. I figured if they could brainwash themselves about what they coudn’t do, I needed to try to turn them in the other direction. I had lunch with a student who was in my class 16 years ago, and she mentioned this. She said that when times got tough in her life (a divorce and 2 kids later), she remembered that she was a born winner and it helped her get through those times. We need to combat the “I Can’ts” with something students can fight with.

By: Eloise

Eloise — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:32:49 +0000

In a self-contradictory, or at least apparently self-loathing, statement, I hate sweeping generalisations like this.

I can’t run a marathon may be a statement of optional limits rather than absolute truth – although I have an orthopaedic surgeon or two who will tell you otherwise. I can’t safely and reliably run a marathon today is a statement of truth that no amount of trying will change – and the effort might just kill me (most likely by drowning given the weather here at the moment).

I can’t hear you is a matter of basically incontrovertible physical truth. Training and practise might help me lip-read what you’re saying, but won’t help me hear you, nor will any amount of trying.

When a learner comes up to you and wails “I can’t do this assignment” telling them “Go and try” is probably not the best approach. Trying to find out where their stumbling blocks are and how to work around them might take a long time, but if you do it right you get students who can because someone has taken the time to give them the support that they need to understand how. In that sense, listening to the “I can’t…” can actually empower the learner and give them skills they will use for life. Or you might find you really have set an impossible task: one of my lecturers when I was an undergraduate grabbed the wrong piece of paper and set a final year specialist assignment to a group of first year students, and the first year assignment to the final year students. He realised something was wrong when about 1/5 of the first years came to complain “I can’t do this assignment.” Whilst they might have been able to look something up and have a go, they really didn’t have the extra two years of tuition to be able to do the work to the required standard.

As for you and folding fitted sheets? Why not? Where does it go wrong? I’m not going to fly over to give you 1:1 lessons but maybe you need to find a tutor to give you some direct personal attention and you should regard your “I can’t…” as an indicator you should seek help?