boor-camp

More than halfway through Daily Create a Day in July, and here we are at another writing challenge, really an easy peasy one:

Write a limerick about someone famous. Like really famous.

So who do you look up to more, who could be not more widely known, than your Daily Create Drill Sergeant? And He is so good, he not only wrote one limerick, he did three! Which one of you suck holes is going to come up and knock him off?

I’m Daily Create Drill Sergeant Hulka
We’re here to make art, not do the polka.
Listen to what I say,
You will TDC each day,
Who can top me, step up here you suck hola-a.

Creative muscles are weak and flabby,
Excuses for skipping ds106 are shabby.
Stop facebooking and tweeting,
And get yer blog feeding.
Regular making of art makes you snazzy.

I may sound tough and a bit like a kook,
In the first few days you might want to puke.
Soon your GIFs are jumping
Creative flow pumping,
Like you will never feel in some silly MOOC.

I fell into a rhyming hole with the first line ending in “Hulka”– I could easily get to polka, but the last one was a stumper, so I played with the line from the movie where Hulka asks “Which one of you suck holes is going to knock me off?”

I made good use of the Rhymebrain site to try and find rhymes or close enoughs…

rhymebrain

and of course we end by kicking some sand in the face of MOOCs. WIN

Now I have to admit, I’ve gotten by Sergeant Hulka (from Stripes) a bit crossed up with Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Consider it a remix. Look how well their lyric yells go together:

Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I’m Sergeant Hulka. I’m your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It’s just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you’re gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.

Hartman: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be “Sir”. Do you maggots understand that?

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f***ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.

Hartman takes the lead, I think.

So maggots… where’s your Daily Creates? You know you love your TDC Drill Sergeant!

Profile Picture for Alan Levine aka CogDog
An early 90s builder of the web and blogging Alan Levine barks at CogDogBlog.com on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person.

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