Dear Willie: Did you read the email?  Please look at the message again.  As I wrote in the original,"You have failed to live up to your service contract providing a customer, Alan Levine, with reliable and consistent access to the internet."  In english the customer referred to in this sentence is Mr. Alan Levine, not me.  This kind circular referencing is exactly the run-around that your customer, Mr. Levine, has been experiencing for months.  If it weren't so central to his working life this would be a comedic interlude worthy of lighthearted conversation. Unfortunately, Mr. Levine works remotely and must travel with frequency. This is the circumstance that led him to sign up for your service in the first place. Had you provided it you'd be showered with accolades in the blogsphere as Mr. Levine is a well known and highly respected member of the technorati. Instead, the failure to deliver even the most basic elements of the service for which he contracted combined with the horrific responses over many months to his diligent attempts to get at the bottom of the connectivity problems has led to such frustration and loss of business productivity that you are now subject to an Internet-wide campaign to prevent others from making the same mistake as Mr. Levine, namely signing up as your customer.

I suggest your wisest course of action is to satisfy this particular customer and hope that the bad press and negative reputation that you are currently earning so well can be minimized by giving Mr. Levine the exit strategy he has clearly requested.

Sincerely,
Dr. Phillip D. Long

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Phillip D. Long, Ph.D. (RL)           Radar Radio (SL)                 email: xxxxxx@mit.edu 
                                 http://web.mit.edu/longpd/www/longpd.htm 
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The Massachusetts Institute of Technology                           - Cambridge, MA 02139 USA                                               
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   


On Apr 28, 2008, at 2:00 PM, alltel@custhelp.com wrote:
Thank you for requesting assistance from our online support center. Below is a summary of your request and our response

Thank you for choosing Alltel!


 Subject
Let Alan Levine, aka Cogdog, go free!
 
 Discussion Thread
 Response (Willie M)04/28/2008 01:00 PM
Dear Mr. Long,

I sincerely apologize for the problems you have experienced.

Thank you for accessing the Alltel website. Hi! My name is Willie and I'll be happy to provide information regarding your contract.

In order for me to assist you please list your account number or mobile number so I am able to view your account. 

If I can address any additional questions, please let me know. 

Thank you for your business! 

Willie
Offline Support Representative
Alltel-Wireless Support Center
 Customer (Phillip Long)04/26/2008 11:48 AM
You have failed to live up to your service contract providing a customer, Alan Levine, with reliable and consistent access to the internet. He has tried repeatedly to work through your tech support processes to resolve recurring connectivity problems and you send him chasing in circles through help desk hell over and over to no avail. He has asked that you release him from the contract he signed as your end of the bargain, providing access to the internet, has not been fulfilled. Your response has been to add insult to injury by seeking to enforce a termination charge after not being able to provide the service for which he has paid. 

This is gold plated entry into the Hall of Shame. Release Alan from AllTel Hell. If anything you should refund the monthly charges for the times he has paid for service that you have not been able to provide. 

Let Alan's contract go!
 Auto-Response04/26/2008 11:48 AM
***YOUR QUESTION HAS NOT YET BEEN SUBMITTED***

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From: alltel@custhelp.com [mailto:alltel@custhelp.com]
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 3:36 PM
To: drljohnson@hotmail.com
Subject: Free Alan Levine!! [Incident: 080426-000527]

Thank you for requesting assistance from our online support center. Below is a summary of your request and our response

Thank you for choosing Alltel!


 Subject
Free Alan Levine!!
 
 Discussion Thread
 Response (Kelly K) 04/28/2008 03:36 PM
Dear Mr. Johnson:

Thank you for your inquiry. My name is Kelly and I will be happy to assist you with your concerns.

Alltel is not able to discuss any account specific information with unauthorized users. Mr. Levine will need to speak with us regarding any concerns he may have about his account.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Thank you for choosing Alltel. I appreciate your business.

Sincerely,

Kelly
Alltel Online Customer Service
 Customer (Laurence Johnson) 04/26/2008 11:34 PM
why won't you let Alan Levine out of his contract?

http://cogdogblog.com/2008/04/24/alltel-pirates/
 Auto-Response 04/26/2008 11:34 PM
***YOUR QUESTION HAS NOT YET BEEN SUBMITTED***

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