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Alexander’s Law of Hotel Internet Connectivity

I recall a conversation with Bryan Alexander who relayed his travel experience in the form of an inverse law- the higher the cost and luxury status of a hotel, the worse your internet connectivity will be– the best free wireless is found in an obscure Motel 8 in rural Pennsylvania.

This has certainly proven true this week with the NMC Conference in Cleveland- the Intercontinental Suites is a swank place, but the in room internet paid connectivity has been shot to hell all week (was it a hotel full of techies?); there is zero wireless available in a place that you think would cater to businesses, and the rates they charge for our conference connections border on grand larceny (they not per line, but per connected Mac address- so each computer hooked in is another kaching). To some minimal amount defense, the hotel is bound by their contract to a provider with a name I will choose not to slander, because it would be really easy to pile on some nasty adjectives.

It just took 25 minutes for their “service” to process a connection request, at a speed bordering on tin cans and clothesline before the lights came on. It makes little sense, since once that ordeal is over, the connection is fairly decent, like cable in a crowded neighborhood. All their “supprt” line can do is blame the issue on too many connections or (and I swear this is what their rep said, “too many people engaged in illegal peer to peer file sharing.” What a load of dog doo-doo.

So if you want a plush robe in your closet and soap carved into flower shapes, shell out the big bucks; if you need to get some work done on a free and reliable wireless, check into the local No Tell Motel.

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An early 90s builder of web stuff and blogging Alan Levine barks at CogDogBlog.com on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person. And he is 100% into the Fediverse (or tells himself so) Tooting as @cogdog@cosocial.ca

Comments

  1. The law isn’t absolute or universal, though. In my recent stay on Vancouver Island, the Best Western had free wifi, but it was completely unusable from my room – had to camp out in the lobby to get a decent connection. Silly FatPort…

  2. Okay, there are caveats to the Law. It does not imply that all cheap hotels have good connectivity, nor does it deny exceptions 😉 And my experience is based upon a few terrible and stellar eperiences a at a small number of hotels. Your mileage may vary. Void where prohibited. Contents may have settle during shipping. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Batteries not included. Yadda.

    I believe I need many more disclaimers here as I have gotten some impressions that people think I know what I am writing about.

  3. I have noticed very similar patterns as well. I think the rule is – if you have important work to do on a tight deadline, the wireless will be flaky. If you need to do something important and risky involving any type of public demonstration, you are doomed! 🙂

  4. The NMC hotel indeed has lame connectivity: little WiFi, and not very fast ethernet. One colleague reported having to deal with a dwarf, one-foot-long cable for the latter.

    As discoverer of this law, I hereby admit the Lomas Corollary, which intensifies the law’s operation.

    D’Arcy is correct to add to the law’s empirical study. You see, it’s a business move to defy our expectations of the law by offering fine connectivity in an upscale lodging.

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