N00BCreative Commons License photo credit: pcesarperez

People are so hung up with being labeled n00bs- it’s time for the bulk of us in that category to let our n00bility to bask in the sunshine, not hide in a closet of shame. Here are some suggestions for pumping up your n00b factor:

  1. Keep those generic icons that come with every account, grey generic silhouettes are unique, almost no one uses that brown twitter icon.
  2. Send thousands of invitations via linkedin to people in your address book(s) and be sure to use the custom text, “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” Everyone will thik you sent them a personal email.
  3. Tag everything in delicious “cool”, but don’t waste time adding more descriptive tags because that just messes up the database.
  4. The perfect text to describe your WordPress blog is creating an About page that says “This is an example of a WordPress page, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many pages like this one or sub-pages as you like and manage all of your content inside of WordPress.” Also, it’s easier for people using your RSS feed to know what your blog is about if its tagline is “Just another WordPress blog.”
  5. One of the most effective ways of participation in web forums or listserves are to add a lot of “me too” posts or “I agree”. Also, be sure to send everyone several UNSUBSCRIBE ME messages when you are ready to go, so everyone knows you are leaving. That is just plain courtesy.
  6. By no means create a unique flickr url for your photo collection; why give up a cool urls like http://flickr.com/photos/52354243@N06/2784393798/ Also, people can find your images better if they have titles like IMG4637.JPG or DSC_2381.JPG. Captions don’t add any meaning either.
  7. The best blog themes come by default, because they have the best designs! And they are blue! Blue is very cool. Use Rounders 3 for Blogger, Bluebreeze for drupal, Kubrick for WordPress.
  8. In Second Life there is no reason to spend good Lindens or time fussing with your avatar; what’s wrong with blue jeans and a t-shirt and helmet hair? Strut your n00b (well in that herky jerky avatar walk) in 3D glory.
  9. When creating wiki pages and blog posts, use really long titles as it makes the URLs stand out more. Long URLs are gooooooood.
  10. Avoid adding hyperlinks in your blog posts; they take to long to add, who wants to fuss with tags, and they just send people elsewhere. And why write stuff when you can copy it from someone else’s site? Heck, that’s what sharing is all about, eh? Also, load your sidebar with bright flashy widgets, people love flashy widgets, especially ones that move and grab your attention. And make a good long blogroll off blogs everyone else lists; that’s the “connectivty” that fuels the blogosphere.

What else am I missiing?

The post "Let Your n00b Shine" was originally dropped like a smoking hot potato at CogDogBlog (http://cogdogblog.com/2008/08/n00b/) on August 21, 2008.

6 Comments

  • Doug Belshaw dougbelshaw.com

    Ah… and I thought people in North America couldn’t do sarcasm! :-D

  • I love being a noob and trying stuff out. Sometimes I don’t go back to that new site for ages just so it feels new for longer.

  • Claudia Ceraso eltnotes.blogspot.com

    Missing anything? Don’t think so. Hmm Let me try.

    11. Use the ‘nudge’ feature in any service. Just to see what happens. Feel geek about it.

    12. If you miss someone online, tell them so in one of their many Ning profile pages. Everyone loves that notification email, signing in with soaring curiosity, trying a few PWs (again), and finally find you saying something like this:
    ‘You’re terribly missed. Whereabouts are you?’

  • Alan Levine aka CogDog cogdogblog.com

    @Doug Belshaw: Dude! That’s all I do. And I am pretty sure I am in North America.

    Someone once told me “sarcasm” comes from a word that means “to cut flesh”. I don’t even care if it is not true, I love the way that sounds.

  • Michael Heilemann binarybonsai.com

    What else am I missiing?

    Making lists? ;)

  • Alan Levine aka CogDog cogdogblog.com

    @Michael Heilemann: Zowie! I n00bed! Score one for the Kubrick Theme master! Was by no means a criticism of Kubrik- must be 40% of all themes are a derivative.

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