Blog Pile

My Imaginary Conversation with a Blog Spammer

extracted from an actual, individually composed comment on my blog…

Me: Why hello, it is so nice that you stopped by my blog.

cc licensed ( BY NC SA ) flickr photo shared by LEOL30

BlogSpammer: What you published made a lot of sense.

Me: Sometimes I hit the mark. Rarely.

BlogSpammer: However, what about this? what if you added a little information?

Me: More information? 3900+ posts are not enough? Man you are hungry…

BlogSpammer: I ain’t saying your content isn’t solid, however what if you added a title that makes people want more? I mean Roundabout the WordPress Hackery is kinda boring.

Me: Really? What should I do to make my titles better? It has a visual metaphor. Do I need to inlude a top 10 list? Do I need to mention iPads? I thought that was pretty darned clever myself…

BlogSpammer: You could peek at Yahoo’s home page and see how they create article titles to grab people to open the links.

Me: You mean like “The 10 Worst Movies of 2013”, “Notable Two Hundred Day Moving Average Cross – NGLS”, “SSW Makes Bullish Cross Above Critical Moving Average”, “Senate GOP leader assails Dems on defense bill”…

I totally see what you mean. It’s going to take me hours to finish our conversation, because I am learning so much from Yahoo titles.

BlogSpammer: You might try adding a video or a pic or two to grab people excited about everything’ve got to say.

Me: I am confused. Besides the opening photo of a roundabout sign that ties into my “boring” title

cc licensed ( BY SA ) flickr photo shared by theilr

there are 9 more images, plus embedded formatted code. And I close with a cute, metaphorical image of a dog (get it, cogDOGblog) chasing its tail. What do I need? Celebrity videos doing awful dance moves? Vines?

BlogSpammer: Just my opinion, it would make your website a little livelier.

Me: Righto! That is my goal!

BlogSpammer: Also visit my homepage: [craptasticlt named marking site name deleted] [url too]

Me: I am so happy you stopped by! Happy viral marketing you scum sucking waste of human DNA internet parasite.

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Profile Picture for CogDog The Blog
An early 90s builder of the web and blogging Alan Levine barks at on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person. And he is 100% into the Fediverse (or tells himself so)


  1. Well, Still True Friend Alan, it was funny the way you were talking to a spam. I put a couple of this comments from Spam on my blog and wrote back to them before I said that is sure a waste of time.

    But that Spam even sometimes doesn’t make any sense, either.

    So I have a button on my blog that I can press called Empty Spam, and that does a good job of getting rid of it all until it comes back tomorrow.

    Still, it is like having to breathe the bad air with the good. Or like when there is a static on the radio. Then I just go to where there is not any static there ever unless you put it on purpose with Audacity.

    Well, bye!

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