extracted from an actual,
individually composed comment on my blog…
Me: Why hello, it is so nice that you stopped by my blog.
BlogSpammer: What you published made a lot of sense.
Me: Sometimes I hit the mark. Rarely.
BlogSpammer: However, what about this? what if you added a little information?
Me: More information? 3900+ posts are not enough? Man you are hungry…
BlogSpammer: I ain’t saying your content isn’t solid, however what if you added a title that makes people want more? I mean Roundabout the WordPress Hackery is kinda boring.
Me: Really? What should I do to make my titles better? It has a visual metaphor. Do I need to inlude a top 10 list? Do I need to mention iPads? I thought that was pretty darned clever myself…
BlogSpammer: You could peek at Yahoo’s home page and see how they create article titles to grab people to open the links.
Me: You mean like “The 10 Worst Movies of 2013”, “Notable Two Hundred Day Moving Average Cross – NGLS”, “SSW Makes Bullish Cross Above Critical Moving Average”, “Senate GOP leader assails Dems on defense bill”…
I totally see what you mean. It’s going to take me hours to finish our conversation, because I am learning so much from Yahoo titles.
BlogSpammer: You might try adding a video or a pic or two to grab people excited about everything’ve got to say.
Me: I am confused. Besides the opening photo of a roundabout sign that ties into my “boring” title
there are 9 more images, plus embedded formatted code. And I close with a cute, metaphorical image of a dog (get it, cogDOGblog) chasing its tail. What do I need? Celebrity videos doing awful dance moves? Vines?
BlogSpammer: Just my opinion, it would make your website a little livelier.
Me: Righto! That is my goal!
BlogSpammer: Also visit my homepage: [craptasticlt named marking site name deleted] [url too]
Me: I am so happy you stopped by! Happy viral marketing you scum sucking waste of human DNA internet parasite.
The post "My Imaginary Conversation with a Blog Spammer" was originally yanked out of the teeth of a rabid chicken at CogDogBlog (https://cogdogblog.com/2013/12/conversation-with-a-blog-spammer/) on December 18, 2013.