I’m old enough to remember when there was no such thing as email spam. For my first few web years I sprayed my work email address on every web page I created.

But those days are gone. The blog spam floods of casinos and various body supplements trying to insert their links into comments has even waned, be it tools like Akismet or the roaches have moved on to something else.

The something else I have seen a relentless increase in are email requests to write guest authored posts on this year blog. Sometimes the offer is for things about as far from anything I write about. You can tell from the format of many of these they are mass sent.

The best ones are where they claim to have read my blog.


Because every page of CogDogBlog has a clear statement right there at the bottom. I have a screen shot file on this I use with the descriptive name cockroachpoop.jpg.

A cute dog icon peers in from the left with the text -- Here I bark and growl about the web, edtech, photography, and other stuff that gets under my fur (more...).

Send those e-cards and e-letters to cogdogblog at gmail dot com -- except requests to add links, insert ads, or write guest articles. I don't do that. Look around. If you bug me you may get the treatment. Each email you send me despite this obvious warning incurs a $250 handling fee.
The language here is pretty clear, right?

If you can read, then it is pretty obvious the proprietor of this site really is not interested in guest articles. Is there any doubt? Do you really want the treatment?

Because if I get one of these email requests from someone claiming they have read my blog, is there any doubt they are full of poop?

Today is Jessica’s turn in the cockroachpoop pit.

Sending me from an ostentatious yahoo email address, Jessica writes:

Hi there,

This is personalized! Hi…

I hope you are keeping well.

I am “keeping” well? Like I have well tucked away in a drawer. Well, heck, how nice is that. Jessica cares. She really really cares.

My name is Jessica, recently I have been visiting your website, cogdogblog.com, to read your content, and I enjoy reading your articles.

She reads my articles! If that was the case, maybe she would tell me which one is a favorite, or compliment me on my verbiage, or at least somehow indicate the act of reading.

I am interested in contributing to your website with fresh and informative content that you and your readers will surely love to read?

Clang clang clang, goes the lying sack of poop meter. If you had read my web site, you would not ask this question, because my blog clearly answers this question, eh? Eh? Jessica, are you capable of basic acts of comprehension?

Let me know if this sounds good to you and if you would be happy to credit me for my article by pointing back to my website.

This sounds good like a covid laced sack of beets atop a pile of manure. Oh I will credit you for sure, Jessica. Now wait, I will do better.

I am giving you the treatment.

I look forward to hearing from you!

I sure bet you are.

So I will reply to Jessica with a link to this post. I do this now and then, and offer in exchange for me not reporting them to the FTC as a violator of the CAN-SPAM act I want to know from what database they purchase my email address.

Not a one ever replies. It makes me feel sad for the Jessica’s of the wo— F*** no it does not. I usually include in my reply a suggestion to find an act more helpful or constructive in the world than being a leech on the internet.

C;mon Jessica, I think you can read.

Read. This.

Featured Image: Image by facebook827 from Pixabay  modified by me to superimpose CogDogBlog.com on the book. And sorry Jessica, I depicted you as a lego dude. No I am not sorry at all.

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An early 90s builder of web stuff and blogging Alan Levine barks at CogDogBlog.com on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person. And he is 100% into the Fediverse (or tells himself so) Tooting as @cogdog@cosocial.ca

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