cc licensed flickr photo shared by AlyssssylA

I get about one of these a day. I guess there is a giant “SUCKER” sign pasted on the back of me on the internet. Do you think it is that hard to spot a machine generated body of text? C’mon, I did Mad Libs in the 1970s.

Dear [sucker’s name],

I really appreciate your collection of information for teachers on the [sucker’s blog name] website, [sucker’s blog url]. I have also found your post “[last blog post]” very interesting. Yes, [sucker’s blog name] is one of those sites I keep coming back to.

I’ll keep this short as I know you probably get a ton of email. I have developed a tool [insert name here] that I think your readers will find interesting. It is a useful thing to post on your page so you and your readers can [verb made into something web 2.0ish]. You can see a demo of it in action at [my crappo URL] and you can see it in action at sites like [obscure web site with familiar sounding name] and [another web site name, yeah they ignored my email but who’s gonna check].

I’d ask that you insert an [ad, widget, big hunking ugly ass cpu crushing flash banner] onto your site and in return I can offer you [something I’ll never deliver]. Or I’d be wiling to write a guest blog post at [sucker’s blog name] – if you want to see my writing in action, look no farther than {obscure blog url here], [a blog url I own but registered under my cat’s name], or [my mommy’s blog url].

I’ll make it as easy as possible to work together so we can both achieve mutual [random buzzword]. You just sit back and watch the [allusion to wealth] roll in. Let me know when we can start to achieve [another buzzword] together!


Billy Bob Spammer

There is no originality in spam, none at all.

Created by morons for suckers.

If this kind of stuff has any value, please support me monthly on Patreon or a one time PayPal kibble toss
Profile Picture for Alan Levine aka CogDog
An early 90s builder of the web and blogging Alan Levine barks at on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person.


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