cc licensed flickr photo shared by AlyssssylA

I get about one of these a day. I guess there is a giant “SUCKER” sign pasted on the back of me on the internet. Do you think it is that hard to spot a machine generated body of text? C’mon, I did Mad Libs in the 1970s.

Dear [sucker’s name],

I really appreciate your collection of information for teachers on the [sucker’s blog name] website, [sucker’s blog url]. I have also found your post “[last blog post]” very interesting. Yes, [sucker’s blog name] is one of those sites I keep coming back to.

I’ll keep this short as I know you probably get a ton of email. I have developed a tool [insert name here] that I think your readers will find interesting. It is a useful thing to post on your page so you and your readers can [verb made into something web 2.0ish]. You can see a demo of it in action at [my crappo URL] and you can see it in action at sites like [obscure web site with familiar sounding name] and [another web site name, yeah they ignored my email but who’s gonna check].

I’d ask that you insert an [ad, widget, big hunking ugly ass cpu crushing flash banner] onto your site and in return I can offer you [something I’ll never deliver]. Or I’d be wiling to write a guest blog post at [sucker’s blog name] – if you want to see my writing in action, look no farther than {obscure blog url here], [a blog url I own but registered under my cat’s name], or [my mommy’s blog url].

I’ll make it as easy as possible to work together so we can both achieve mutual [random buzzword]. You just sit back and watch the [allusion to wealth] roll in. Let me know when we can start to achieve [another buzzword] together!


Billy Bob Spammer

There is no originality in spam, none at all.

Created by morons for suckers.

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An early 90s builder of web stuff and blogging Alan Levine barks at on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person. And he is 100% into the Fediverse (or tells himself so) Tooting as


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