Rants

The Steaming Pile of Dog Poop Called Facebook

flickr photo by markyweiss http://flickr.com/photos/dafe/498886900 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

flickr photo by markyweiss http://flickr.com/photos/dafe/498886900 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

I stand guilty of going back on my exit from Facebook. For an upcoming project, I must have an account to provide student feedback. I was impressed that upon re-creaitng account, my entire previous presence was gone (at least what they showed me).

My current presence has a name, a photo a location. Nothing more. Please do not friend me. I am not going there to do Facebook. I just need a door way.

But then I got an email with this pile of Facebook excrement. Someone let me know they were friended by someone named Michael Cole (account link) who is using on “his” profile three photos that are of me:

Michael Cole has Facebook profiles bearing photos of me

Michael Cole has Facebook profiles bearing photos of me

I thanked her, and slipped inside of Facebook to report someone impersonating me.

report-cole
report2
submitted

The reporting process is not very promising since I have no place to actually provide my evidence. I am supposed to rely on a nameless facebook entity to review my case.

Just for the record, if any entity at Facebook actually gives a shit about identity,

This photo is in my flickr account, if you read the caption, it says nothing about Michael Cole

The top photo, me with friends Zack and Giulia (the real kind that exist in the world outside of the Facebook shit pile), was taken by photographer Syx Langemann in Vancovuer in 2012 at the Northern Voice conference; the caption ont he photo identifies an “Alan”, no Michael

And the one “Michael” is using as his profile is no doubt me, ask anyone. I cannot seem to locate that photo, but it bears a t-shirt I bought in Philadelphia in 2007 that read “Drop a Needle, Not a Bomb”

Okay, so this is what I heard back from Facebook:

fbpoo

I am not happy. I filed the second report. I have zero faith that Facebook has an interest in protecting identities.

It does not take a software engineer to run a Google Images reverse image search to locate this. What are the actual steps that Shitbook uses when I submit a report on a profile impersonating me? Is it a magic eightball? a coin flip? WTF?

And just for fun, when I click the left most frown icon to report how I feel?

fu fb 2

Facebook is a pile of shit, and I will dump this account like a handful of the heated kind as soon as this project ends.

If you care to assist, please send the Facebook shit pile a heap of reports on this account https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009611240384

Facebook is poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop

UPDATE July 24, 2015 Thanks to several who have reported the account. The links seems to be gone.

Facebook, however, sends me messages that the subject line says “We have revised our report” but the body of the message remains the same:

fbbs

I see nothing serious here except stinky software. and still, when I click on the left-most icon for their survey, I get an error. Thats a great way to improve your customer relations data; disallowing negative votes. Right out of the dirty politician playbook.

Facebook remains for me a steaming pile of poop.


flickr photo by markyweiss http://flickr.com/photos/dafe/498886900 shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

Profile Picture for Alan Levine aka CogDog
An early 90s builder of the web and blogging Alan Levine barks at CogDogBlog.com on web storytelling (#ds106 #4life), photography, bending WordPress, and serendipity in the infinite internet river. He thinks it's weird to write about himself in the third person.

Comments

  1. Alan, since I didn’t have you in my Friends list, I had to say you were a “celebrity” ;^)

    I’m hoping that they can match your name up with your profile (Alan Levine). So one more tally mark in the column of reporting this to FB.

  2. Also reported. I keep trying to explain why, even though I am on Facebook and have the farm business there I hate being forced to do it. Yeah I know I could eliminate my stuff, but far too many people think Facebook is a great thing and far too many customers expect to see you there.

  3. yeah – the link to the facebook profile turns up a “hey. that doesn’t exist” page, and searching for Michael Cole doesn’t turn up anything that looks like a cogdog. maybe the system (eventually) worked?

    1. Thanks. I have gotten a reply from facebook that says they have revised their review, and then the message it has remains the same. But the profile link seems to be gone. Thanks all for reporting.

      It still smells like poop there.

  4. Hi, I’m now relieved after 11 months of talking to a scammer my fears have been proven. I had several photos of Alan Levine I deleted them early this year. Then found out about Google reverse image. I had two more pics sent but nothing came up. Then tonight I got the pic of Alan and son sent and hey presto my suspicions confirmed. I guessed all along he was a scammer but needed it to be confirmed. It was the first time I accepted a fb friend request from a stranger. He had a realistic profile several friends including one I know. Lots of pics. Read king James version bible. Enjoyed cycling. He’d really done his homework. I’ll sleep well tonight knowing my intuition was right.

  5. Hai I dont know you and you do not know me but I am from Holland. Also on Fb. Ive had in November a fb request of a man called Marc Thomas. He was acting really strange wanted to send me money and so further. I did not trust it. But I searched on internet. And somebody is using your photo s again ( I pressume when I read the story above) because marc Thomas is pretending to be you, as proof I have photo s he or she send me. So if you want to have more information you can email me. Because it is identy theft. And I don t like that. greetings from Holland

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