PHP the Drug Menace

Wow, it’s been a while since I clicked over to BBspot. This story is a bit dated (June 14), but is important if you are concerned about today’s youth.

BBspot – Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

Topeka, KS – High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

“A teacher’ÄÝoverheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked,” said Principal Clyde Thurlow. ’ÄÝ “We’re not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB.”’ÄÝ

If you have not figured this out, yet, this is satire. Do not read anything here at face value.

The news continues:

Interviews with students suggested that’ÄÝPHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population…
PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous.’ÄÝ It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP.

That in fact has been by path into this world. Casual use of Perl leading to an un-ending PHP habit (and rumors of Zope sniffing in the halls).